Tonight, after many canceled flights and false starts, my husband finally made it home, only about 60 hours later then he was originally scheduled to arrive. It was a very long two and a half days and reinforced to me yet again the idea that we are not in control.
On an intellectual level I know this, but emotionally it can be so easy to trick yourself into thinking, you can control everything- your schedule, your children, your travels.
But we all know this is not the case. We are not in control- we cannot affect the snow, canceled flights or other crazy occurences. All we have is the choice of how to react to given specific circumstances.
I have seen this many times, whether it was the birth of my oldest with special needs, my children getting a nasty case of lice this past summer and other things, both big and small. In these moments all you have is your reaction.
It's kind of like birth- you cannot control the intensity of the contractions or how slow or long your labor will be, but you can try to work with them, work through them and try to take it one contraction at a time. Panic and stress will not get you very far in labor- or in life.
I cannot say that I am particularly impressed with the way I handled this bump in the road. I definitely could have been more calm and less angry and stressed. But it is a learning experience and I hope to do better next time. Because there definitely will be a next time...