Wednesday, December 5, 2012

The Facebook Family

Glennon on momastery posted an interesting article about how we appear to others versus what the reality is.
In the age of social media all most of us see is the glowing pictures of us and our significant others and children smiling, having fun, going on trips- the picture perfect family.
I am a little guilty of this too. I mean when you post pictures like this

and this

how can you not think that all is well in my household? Everyone is dressed nicely and smiling and looking picture perfect.
Sometimes people compliment me about being calm. "You're so calm" they say. "How do you do it?" I smile and say thank you and fight the urge to tell them that I am in fact not always so calm, and that my children know this very well. For example, just last week M was fighting with A and said to her in a serious tone: "Do I have to raise my voice?" Um...who could he have possibly learned that from? My good friend says we are in fact calm. Because we deal with a lot of drama and craziness all day and then eventually we crack. Room for improvement obviously, but we are actually doing quite well.
(For more on appreciating ourselves, check out this post- Thankful for me)
And so people see those happy pictures and they feel badly because that is now what their reality looks like. Glennon believes in honesty and telling everyone what is truly going on, so others will feel less alone.
I hear that to a certain extent but I do believe that family life is private and your disagreements and imperfections do not have to be laid out for all to see. There is somehow a balance that needs to be struck.
So I don't only post the glossy pics. I post pics of my kid passing out on the floor after a major tantrum

of what my apartment looks like at the end of a long day

and other funny, crazy moments.

Because that is life- sometimes it's calm and good and positive vibes all around. Other times it is screaming children, pandemonium and a mom who just wants to get dressed for 5 minutes in peace. What's your take?


  1. Your kids are so cute! I never really realized we have the same demographics; 3 boys and a girl! =) It was all those little boys on the couch that clued me in. Yeah, I remember those photos from your blog! I think the balance of what someone is comfortable with is different for everyone, and what we are comfy with, we gravitate towards. So I'm pretty open and I like blogs that are authentic too. But I never disrespect my husband on my blog and I detest when I see women who do (its rare); I think I'm open about the parenting but private about my marriage, if that makes sense. It seems disengenuous to blog about another adult without running everything by them, and that's just not efficient! Or really even my thing. But I respect people who are more or less open than I am. =)

  2. (oh, but all perfect all the time? I don't really like that because it gets boring and seems phony)

  3. I hear you melissa but then sometimes I wonder about respecting our kids' privacy too. Is it okay to share their struggles online? will they hate us for it one day :)

  4. Yeah I hear you on that one, too!! The older they get the less I share, or the more I censor what I share, for that reason. =) Hopefully they'll forgive me. =P