Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Feelings

Wow, internets it really has been a while!
I'm back, perhaps. I stopped blogging right around the time school started getting busier and did not really come up for breath till now.
As I write this I am in my last semester of nursing school. I started an accelerated nursing program at the End of August 2013 and am finishing up August 2014! It's been quite a ride. Starting with the fact that we moved apartments in the first week of school followed by Rosh Hashana a week later, I hit the ground running and did not really get a chance to stop for very long.
They were not kidding when they said this program is accelerated. The time commitment both in class, the hospital at clincals and studying at home was immense. I juggled more things than I thought possible and dropped quite a few balls in the process. Guess what, I am not superwoman. oh well, always learning or at least trying to.
Nursing school was different than I thought it would be. Nursing is different than I thought it is. Did you know that we work with these useless things called nursing diagnosis? Google it if you're bored.
I finished my spring semester at the end of May and had a two week break. Now I am taking summer classes and the pace has slowed down tremendously. My friends and I are a bit confused, not used to having all this free time and always wondering if perhaps we should be doing something/studying or reading or....?
What is funny is that now I have some time instead of feeling relieved, I am feeling a bit unmoored. All this stuff I have been ignoring or too busy to deal with is suddenly resurfacing now that I have some time to actually think about things other than nursing school and what I am making for dinner tomorrow night.
And at the end of the day, you take yourself wherever you go, feelings don't go away and you can only run away from yourself by keeping busy for so long. So I am trying to just take it as it comes these next few days and accept that it's okay to feel sad and angry and crappy sometimes even if you don't really know why.
This too shall pass.
In the meantime I am watching little A.Y sleep in my bed (not so little anymore but that's for a different post) and listening to this song on repeat. Tomorrow is a new day


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