Happy Birthday Y

Today is Y's 5th birthday! It's pretty crazy that I have a five year old. Makes me feel old or at least like a grown-up :)
He had a birthday party at school two weeks ago and we got him a guitar for his birthday, which he loves.
My children's birthdays are always reflective days for me, especially Y who was born with an extra chromosome and whose day of birth was quite emotional for both my husband and me.
But I won't dwell on that now. Instead I'll leave you with some pictures of my birthday boy! I know I'm biased, but isn't he the cutest thing?

Birthday party at school


Enjoying his new guitar

Support the Midwifery Modernization Act

I haven't really blogged about this but there has been a lot going on in NYC in the midwifery field. The closing of St Vincent's Hospital a few months ago was a big blow to the natural childbirth community as it was the hospital most supportive of intervention-free birth. Additionally, it was the back up hospital for the NYC homebirth midwives. Any women who had to be transferred were usually sent to St Vincent's because the staff had a good relationship with the homebirth midwives.
In New York State, midwives are not allowed to practice without a WPA- written practice agreement that is signed by an Obstetrician. This is a document stating that the midwife has a relationship with this specific doctor, and that the doctor takes responsibility for the midwife's patients if complications arise. The midwives who attend homebirths had WPAs with the doctors at St Vincents. When the hospital closed, the homebirth midwives lost their WPAs. No other doctors in other hospitals were willing to sign a WPA for them, so for the past few months the midwives have essentially being practicing illegally. Nothing has changed about these midwives' skills in delivering babies, they are just missing a form.
Over the past few months, doulas, birth advocates and midwives have been lobbying hard for the Midwifery Modernization Act (MMA) which would give certified midwives the ability to practice without a WPA. It has gone through several rounds and revisions and will hopefully be brought to a vote on Monday in the New York State Assembly.
This is exciting news. While home birth is definitely not for everyone, it should be a legal option for the women who want it. Even for midwives practicing in hospitals, this act would give them more independece and legitimacy as valued providers of care for women.
I am curious to see what will happen on Monday- for more information and to find out how you can support the bill, check out Free Our Midwives.

Crazy story

Last night, I had to go to a wedding in Jersey. We do not own a car so I was reserved a zipcar like I usually do. Two weeks ago a distant relative of the bride called and asked if he and his wife could have a ride. I said yes, even though I was kind of hesitant. I am very OCD about time and don't like to wait for other people. I was also kind of looking forward to having quiet time in the car on the way rather than making conversation with people I don't know. But they needed a ride and I had space, so I said yes.
As we were leaving the parking garage, the woman I was driving mentioned that she was a special education teacher and the kids in her class had graduated today. I always perk up when someone mentions special education or special needs so I asked her where she teaches. She said "PS 199"- the school Y is going to next year. I could not believe it. I told her that my son is going there next year and asked if she knew who the kindergarten teacher is going to be. She said that she most probably will be.
I was totally floored. I mean really, what are the chances of that happening? She seems really nice and it would be wonderful for him to have an observant Jewish teacher who know all about kosher and other issues.
I was so glad that I decided to do the "right" thing and give this couple a ride. I guess no good deed goes unrewarded. It turns out, she may not be teaching the class because the school is trying to force her into early retirement. Either way, it was just a little reminder that G'd is watching out for us, which is always nice.

Once a VBAC, always a VBAC?

Recently, I finally had my long overdue annual exam at my Ob-gyn. Always a "fun" experience as I am sure many will agree.
I took this opportunity to ask my doctor if I am still considered a VBAC and therefor more high-risk, even after already having 2 successful VBACs. I find it frustrating to be limited in my choices. For example, most Birthing Centers will not accept VBACs. Some doctors (not mine, thank goodness, although one of his partners does) insist on continuous monitoring for VBACs. This even though the evidence shows that there is no difference in outcomes between intermittent and continuous monitoring.
In case you are wondering, I am not pregnant, but as a doula, I can't help thinking about these things a lot, especially because I discuss them frequently with my clients.
My doctor's answer was pretty much "yes and no." On the one hand, my two successful VBACS clearly prove that I can give birth vaginally and that I should have no problem doing so in the future. On the other hand, a uterine scar is still a uterine scar and is something that needs to be taken into account. That may mean no birth center birth but that does not mean that I cannot have a low intervention, normal childbirth experience elsewhere. I just need to advocate for myself, choose the right care provider and make it happen.
I was thinking that very few people have a picture perfect pregnancy. Someone may have high blood pressure, gestational diabetes or some other minor kink. Even if they do not, something may come up unexpectedly in labor. Like my previous cesarean, these issues should obviously be taken into account but they do not need to totally dictate a woman's experience. Basically, you make the accomodations you need to make, and you move on. Changing one thing does not mean having to change everything.
It was an interesting thought. Don't think about the things you can not have, rather work with what you do have. And that is usually plenty.

Girl's Morning Out

This morning A. was supposed to meet a friend in the park. Unfortunately there was some miscommunication with her friend's babysitter and they were not there. So we decided to make a morning out of it and spend some time together. We went for an early lunch and then for manicures! I am the first to say that little girls should not have their nails painted, they have the rest of their life for that. But I thought it would be a special treat for her. We chose a very mellow pink and she loved the whole experience. She was proudly showing everyone her nails for the rest of the day. I made sure to emphasize that this was a one time thing and not a regular occurence.
Our last stop was Payless, where A helped me pick a new bag, since the strap on my old one had broken. In the store she decided that she absolutely HAD to have a pair of fipflops. I was highly skeptical, but she insisted so we settled on a pair of 8 dollar Dora flip flops. When we went to run another errand later in the afternoon it was clear that she cannot walk in these shoes AT ALL. Oh well. Maybe they can be her playshoes for the house.
It was nice spending time one-on-one with A. My husband and I are always reflecting on how BIG these kids are getting. They have personalities, likes and dislikes and they will tell it to you straight. But just when you think they are all grown up, they will go ahead and have a tantrum with the requisite kicking and screaming. That's when you remember that she is not even 4 yet and that my parenting job is far from over :)
Have a wonderful shabbos

New Look

Blogger has some new backgrounds- what do you think? I think it's happy and makes me think of sun and summer. I'm going to try it for a bit.

The Throwing Issue

Just five minutes ago, the doorbell rang and there stood the porter of our building bearing gifts: a frisbee, a fork, two pacifiers and a kippah. In case you are wondering why I am accepting weird presents from other men, these are actually items that belong to us. They are also all items that have been thrown out of the window these past few days by one of our children.
I am not quite sure when it happened but we are having some serious throwing issues in our home. Now that the weather is warmer, the windows are open and my children see this as the perfect opportunity to see what happens when you drop something out the window. Thankfully, most of our windows face the yard of our building so I don't need to worry about hitting anyone in the head. But I do need to worry about things disappearing and breaking.
A few weeks ago on shabbos, Y threw some kippot and a brand new shoe of mine out the window. By the time I asked the doorman about it two days later, he told me that they had found the stuff, assumed it was trash and thrown it out! There went a perfectly good pair of shoes and three kippot valued at about 10 dollars each. From then on, we established with the workers in our building that if they find something in the yard and it does not look like trash, it is probably ours. In this manner we have gotten sweaters back, more kippot and some miscellaneous toys.
The bigger issue is really that one day they may throw something valuable- like a phone, keys, wallet out the window. Or they may actually injure someone. Clearly this is not a good game and we are working on it. We are thinking of installing screens. That takes care of the problem, but I worry that it does not really teach my children anything. There are so many things in this apartment that are locked up or out of reach so as not to tempt the children. While I do think it is necessary for safety reasons, I also think it does not really teach them any self-control or boundaries.
So for now we will work on getting some screens and until they come, we will keep a watchful eye out for those little hands reaching out windows. And hoping that the message of "We don't throw. It is not safe" and some consequences will finally penetrate.
Any advice? What would you do?