Exhausted

It is only 9 15 pm here but I am totally wiped. I am supposed to be sleeping now but instead I am blogging. Why? A) Because I am insane and B) because I feel like complaining about being tired.
I think all the running around, traveling and mommying is finally catching up with me. This morning I was woken up before 7 am by three enthusiastic children next to my bed, one of whom happens to be 18 months old AND SHOULD NOT BE ABLE TO GET OUT OF HIS CRIB BY HIMSELF. Apparently M has not gotten the memo and has used this trip to teach himself how to climb out of his crib. Quite gracefully, may I add, since I had the pleasure of watching him several times over the last few days....Also woke up to find that my throat is hurting, I am coughing and I have caught a cold in 100 degree weather. Very talented on my part.
After everyone was dressed and fed, I brought the older 2 to camp and then proceeded to walk from Katamon to Rechavia, Rechavia to Kikar Zion in town, back to Rechavia and then from Rechavia to Keren Hayessod between the hours of 11 and 3 when it is incredibly hot there in Jerusalem (If these names doesn't mean anything to you, don't worry about it. They are all about15 minute walks)
Why? See answer A above. Really just because I had to go see an apartment, meet a friend for lunch and then take my kids swimming. All fun activities but they should probably not all be attempted within the span of a few hours. Especially if I am already not feeling well.
At the pool, my husband and I were busy making sure no one dives headfirst into the water or pulls any other dangerous stunts. Am I the only one who finds taking her kids to places with water very stressful and anxiety-provoking? Then M cut his toe on a shard of glass that was inexplicably on the floor. After determining that it was a very minor cut, we dressed everyone and hauled them home again. We picked up dinner on the way and started our usual routine of dinner, wrestling everyone into the showers and their pyjamas, reading books and finally BEDTIME! It took an hour but then it was quiet.
 I had said I was going to sleep right after the kids but I couldn't resist the urge to use the computer in peace and quiet and to clean up all the random stuff that is flying around the apartment. But now I am definitely going to bed. And my husband promised to wake up with the kids tomorrow morning...now that is a real vacation!

Weekend up north

We are back from a whirlwind weekend in the north of Israel with my parents, siblings and nieces and nephews (Total headcount: 13 adults and 13 kids, 9 of whom are 6 and under). Tsfat/Safed is a magical place to spend shabbos.
We had a few glitches here and there but all in all it was chaotic and fun, as predicted. I love that the kids are getting to know their cousins. They are old enough to actually play and interact with them. It is also great that my parents have a chance to spend time with the children, to get to know them and their unique personalities better.
My husband and I realized yet again how much harder it is to watch our children when they are in an unfamiliar place and do not have their set routine. It seems that structure and predictability works well for both parents and children. A, my almost four year old, specifically is having a hard time being away from home. Whenever she gets upset about something, she says, "I don't like this country, I want to go back to New York." Even just being in our rental apartment in Jerusalem seems to be easier for the kids, as that is our temporary base while we are here and more familiar to them.
There were a lot of spills, late nights, and a few episodes of missing children (we lost A once and Y twice- do I get an award for being Supermommy of the year...) but I would do it all again!
It was incredibly HOT today which made our outings a bit more difficult and less enjoyable. On our way back to Jerusalem, we visited the Hula Valley and then a nature park in Beit Shean that houses kangaroos and koala bears. I never knew that there were kangaroos in Israel. Live and learn I guess. As I mentioned, it was interesting but we were too hot to really stay out too long and kept retreating to theair condintioned bus.
Here is a picture of Baby M and me in matching lavender, all sweaty but braving the heat.

The kangaroos (and some random strangers)

Hope everyone is staying cool!

World Breastfeeding Week

In honor of world breastfeeding week, I wanted to share some thoughts on breastfeeding. I will start off by saying that I am (obviously?) very much in favor of nursing. It creates a wonderful mother-child bond and is really the best start you can give your child.
I am not going to bore you with all the statistics on how "breast is best" for your child, rather I'd like to focus on another aspect of breastfeeding-tolerance. Before you say, "huh?" let me explain.
Breastfeeding, like childbirth, tends to bring out the worst in people when they meet people who disagree with their take on things. Those who want an intervention free birth are livid that there are woman who would want an elective cesarean. Women who want an epidural before even getting to the hospital think women who want natural childbirth are crunchy, masochists and weird.
 The same goes with breastfeeding. There are moms who exclusively breastfeed until their child is two who think mothers who don't are feeding their children poison when they give them a bottle of formula.
There are mothers who struggled with breastfeeding or never tried and feel very happy bottle-feeding their child.
I think every woman should be allowed to make her own choices without facing the wrath of other mommies who are judging her. I also think, though, that woman should have all the information before making these decisions. Read up on breastfeeding, speak with lactation consultants and/or other women who have successfully breastfed before you decide it is not for you. Most importantly don't judge.
I have been on both sides of this equation when it came to breastfeeding. I struggled for literally months with my oldest to breastfeed. Due to Down Syndrome, he had low muscle tone and just never got the hang of it. I spent hours with lactation consultants, pumped and took medications and teas to bring up my milk supply. I pumped milk for six long months before I felt like I couldn't do it anymore. I felt very conflicted about giving him formula, especially when he seemed to be allergic to it and projectile vomitted everything until we found him a (super expensive) special formula he could tolerate. I realized then that breastfeeding is not as simple as some had said it would be.
With my daughter A, on the other hand, I had no trouble at all. She latched on and nursed beautifully right away. In fact she never even took a bottle because she refused to drink from it, even if it was my expressed milk. I nursed both A and M for over a year and definitely incurred my quota of comments of "You're still breastfeeding?" or looks when I would breastfeed discretely in public. I realized then that breastfeeding is not as difficult as others had said it would be
My personal experience and talking to others has taught me not to be so quick to judge and condemn others for the way they choose to feed and/or mother their children.
So in honor of breastfeeding week, take advantage of some of the great information on breastfeeding that is available on the Internet. Then embrace what you are doing and respect the choices that others make.
PS: Please excuse any typos or grammatical errors. I currently have 3 children jumping on me as I attempt to finish my train of thought.

Reflecting on family

I feel so blessed to be here in Israel on vacation. It is an opportunity to relax, recharge my spiritual batteries and to reconnect with family. The family part is very important aspect to this trip.
I am enjoying the normalcy of spending time with them and seeing them everyday. Of meeting my parents for coffee this morning, having a playdate with my brother and his kids in a park, dropping my kids off at my sister's house because the babysitter canceled and I had to be somewhere. Everyone is a short walk or car ride away. It's just so...normal. And it highlights for me how atypical it is to be living so far from family the rest of the year.
I have been living away from family since I was 15. Most of the time I am so used to being on my own that I don't even realize what I am missing. Until we come here and I get a taste of typical family life.
During the year it is hard to be in touch. There is a 7 hour time difference and we all have busy lives. The weekly phone call does not always happen. There is so much to catch up on and there is really no way to cram a year's worth of closeness into 4 weeks. I feel that there are big aspects of my siblings' lives that I am not part of, and vast parts of mine that they don't know. It makes me sad. I guess that is to be expected, though, when you have a large family that is living in different countries and continents.
The goal then is to enjoy the time while it lasts, to use the opportunities to reconnect, for the cousins to play together and get to know each other. And not worry just yet about saying goodbye. I'll have plenty of time to miss them when I am back in NY.

Shabbos with family

We are back from an exhausting but fun weekend with some family that lives in a different part of Jerusalem. Definitely glad to be back in our own space and our own schedule. While it was nice to spend time with our siblings and see the community they live in, it was very difficult to meet all the kids' needs while we were away. Meals, playtime and bedtime become a challenge when you are not at your home base.
The theme of this weekend was clearly diaper/toilet issues as Y had two incidents that required clothing changes, Baby M lost his diaper in the middle of the night which resulted in a very messy crib and baby in the morning and A refused to use the bathroom there because it wasn't clean enough for her. The joys of three children under five!
The weekend was a good trial run for next shabbos, when we will be traveling up north with my parents, 5 siblings and altogether 13 grandchildren for two whole days of family bonding. It will be chaotic and fun.
I now know that I need to pack for all eventualities, meaning more diapers, wipes, changes of clothing, toys and definitely more patience. Now if I could just figure out how to stock up on patience by next Friday.

New VBAC guidelines

I have been so busy enjoying my vacation that I almost forgot to blog about some significant changes regarding childbirth in the US. Right on the heels of the Midwifery Modernization Act, ACOG- The American College of Obstetricians and Gynocologists have put out new guidelines and recommendations for VBAC- Vaginal Birth after Cesarean.
A quote from their press release states: "Attempting a vaginal birth after cesarean (VBAC) is a safe and appropriate choice for most women who have had a prior cesarean delivery, including for some women who have had two previous cesareans."
Furthermore, they say :"In addition to providing an option for those who want the experience of a vaginal birth, VBAC has several potential health advantages for women. Women who achieve VBAC avoid major abdominal surgery, resulting in lower rates of hemorrhage, infection, and a shorter recovery period compared with elective repeat cesarean delivery. Additionally, for those considering larger families, VBAC may avoid potential future maternal consequences of multiple cesarean deliveries such as hysterectomy, bowel or bladder injury, transfusion, infection, and abnormal placentation such as placenta previa and placenta accreta."
Basically, doctors are admitting what the research has shown all along; that VBAC is a safe option for most women. What remains to be seen is if this statement will actually change the standards of practice of most OBs. Is it still possible to change the high rate of repeat cesareans and to allow more woman a trial of labor? I guess we will have to wait and see. To see the full press release, just click here. 

My little tzaddik

I recently came across a blog post by someone, claiming that people in Israel are so much more tolerant and open to people with disabilities. I was a bit skeptical at first but just judging by the day we have had today, that person may be on to something.
By now everybody reading this knows that our darling little Y has Down Syndrome. It is a disability that is pretty apparent, as you can see it on his cute little face. Everywhere we went today, we were met with comments about our son. Not the comments that make you cringe, good comments and compliments :)
We took several cabs today, trying to get around Jerusalem and keep the kids entertained. Our first cab driver was a real sweetheart who told me not to worry about M crying in his car. When I tried to quiet him, he said, "Let him scream here, I don't mind." As we were leaving the cab and Y tried to stay in the car as he usually tends to do, the cab driver asked him his name and told us that he was a neshama- a pure soul.
Our second cab driver had a fancy car and was concerned about his leather seats. When Y got in the car, he started yelling at him to get his shoes off the seats. When he turned around and saw that Y has Down Syndrome, his tone completely changed. He apologized and called him a tzaddik, loosely translated as a "righteous person." Later on when walking down the street, a stranger spotted Y and started showering him with blessings. He told us that G'd should bless Y and called him a tzaddik several times.
That was three times in the span of about three hours. I know it sounds all romantic and idealistic. I am sure we will not be showered with blessings everywhere we go but it is reflective of an attitude that seems to exist here. The attitude that children with disabilities are "special" not just because they have extraordinary needs but because they truly are special and unique.
Y was actually born in Jerusalem, 5 years ago, in one of the larger hospitals. As soon as word got out, there was a network that sprung into action. We were getting visits and phonecalls and supports from so many people; people we barely knew or did not know at all. It was a bit overwhelming at first but it was also comforting to see so many people who had been there personally. There was such a strong emphasis on the fact that this was a difficult time for us but that there was so much good to come. There was an attitude of joy, love and acceptance at a very early stage. Looking back, I don't know how this scenario would have played out in the US. G'd puts us all where we need to be at different times in our lives
So while the services such as OT, PT and Speech may be better in the US, Israel definitely seems to have a leg up on attitude.
 Maybe it is just the prevalence of Down Syndrome in Jerusalem. Orthodox women have large families and generally do not do genetic testing. In our neighborhood alone at the time, there were about 20 children of different ages with an extra chromosome. Maybe it all comes back to the general feeling here that we are all family, we are all connected somehow and need to be there for each other.
Whatever it is, I am enjoying the TLC. And definitely agree that Y is a little tzaddik.

Our little Tzaddik with his sister, who is not too bad herself :)