There is a great hasidic story about a Rabbi in the 19th century who was walking in the street when he ran into the local non-Jewish mayor. The man asked the rabbi where he was going and the Rabbi responded, that he did not know where he was headed. The mayor thought the Rabbi was mocking him and so he had him arrested and thrown in jail for contempt. After the mayor calmed down a bit, he had the Rabbi brought to him and asked him what his answer meant. Surely the Rabbi must have known where he was headed.
The Rabbi responded:"Your honor, don't you see. I did not know where I was going. I thought I was headed to the local studyhouse to learn Torah and instead I ended up in jail!"
This story comes to mind when thinking of the events of the last few days. I had one agenda and yet G'd clearly had quite another for me.
For example. Yesterday, my husband and I woke up at 5 am to take Y to the hospital for his dual procedure. He was scheduled for 7 30 and at 7 15, we were informed by the anesthesiologist that Y was not fit for surgery because his cough was too strong. This after days of back and forth with the pediatrician whether or not we should postpone the surgery. I guess it should not have come as a complete surprise considering his non-stop runny nose, but I was really annoyed because it disrupted my plans for the whole day and I was cranky due to waking up at 5 for no reason. Did I mention I am not a morning person.
Today I thought I was spending my morning going for an annual exam and baking chocolate mousse pies (more on that later). Instead I had to keep Y home from school because he had a fever and beg my pediatrician to call in a prescription for me and not make me come in yet again. In the last month I have been in the doctor's office an average of twice a week. The secretaries think I'm nuts and/or a hysterical mother, but I tell them I can think of better things to do with my time and my multiple 25 dollar co-pays. A manicure-pedicure comes to mind.
I try to keep perspective when annoying or crazy things happen that completely disrupt my routine but it's not always easy . Part of my faith is the belief that everything happens for a reason even if I don't understand it. I am not in control. Even though I really would like to be in control of everything, I need to let go and go with the flow a bit.
Particularly when it comes to Sunday. This coming Sunday is Purim, one of the funnest, yet holiest days of the Jewish year. I have 32 adults and 24 children coming for the holiday meal. While I am definitely trying to stay on top of things by cooking in advance (I did make my chocolate mousse pies in the end) and making lots of list, I also am trying to remind myself that I am not in charge. I will do my best and it will still be insanity. There will be lots of drinking, singing and a huge mess. I hope I will remember to enjoy myself, even when things don't go exactly according to plan.