There are many Jewish holidays on the calendar and they require different types of preparations and introspection. Recently, however, I have found that preparing for holidays for me involves only one thing and that is food.
Sure if there is no "kemach" (flour ie food) there is no Torah. The physical enables us to focus on the spiritual, etc etc. It's all very nice and good but it still does not change the fact that this past week I have been preparing for the re-acceptance of the Torah in the kitchen.
Sometimes I try to listen to classes online while I cook or fold laundry. For some reason, I have not been very successful this past week. I started a shiur by Yemima Mizrachi four times and only managed to hear about 10 minutes or so each time before being interrupted. If you asked me what she spoke about, I would not be able to tell you.
My only comfort is that I have a portion in the Torah that my husband is learning and disseminating. I also rely on him for my prayers these days as I have not been successful at carving out time for formal Tfilla. Lucky for me he is a Rabbi and will be teaching Torah all night so I am riding on pretty good coat tails.
Maybe it is just a matter of priorities. Maybe if I tried a little harder, I could find some time to go to a shiur or two, to daven a shmone- esrei every once in a while. I have seen that if something is truly important to me, I find a way to squeeze it into my schedule.
Perhaps the goal is to find that time, to reinvigorate and inspire myself a bit more, so that when the next holiday comes around, I may still be in the kitchen, but also will have found a different way to connect to the yomtov (yontev? yontif? how do you spell that in English anyway!!) on a deeper level.
I will be busy eating cheesecake for the next few days. Will not be posting till Monday night or possibly later in the week. Chag Sameach to all!