M is a walker

The big news in our family this week is that Baby M is walking! He is 15 months old and has been a bit slow on the whole walking front. That is, until now. In the past few days he has really taken off and walks, or should I say toddles, about 80 percent of the time.

We went to buy him these cute little shoes on tuesday:



It's funny but somehow babies just seem more grown up and like a real person when they are upright. Hooray for M!
We also went to buy sandals for A when we got M his shoes which was just exhausting. The princess insisted on pink, but unfortunately the pink shoes did not fit well and so we compromised on purple. The negotiation took about 20 minutes though. Even though her insistence on style can be a bit annoying at times, I have to say I love having a girly girl!
Just for fun, a cute pic of M taken in Florida where the weather was much nicer than the 40 degrees it is today in NYC

The 3 for 1 special

Y and I headed off to the doctor again yesterday. Getting there involved one of his favorite activites- riding the NYC subway. Y entertains the whole car with a running commentary of the subway doors opening and closing.
After being told to expect the worst, we were actually done in an hour, which is record time for this doctor. Anyway, the conclusion of our little visit is that we will be adding yet another procedure to the surgery we had already scheduled for May 6.
So next Thursday, around 7 am my little boy will be put under general anesthesia, to have not one, not two, but three different procedures done. Can you tell how thrilled I am?
Two of the procedures are very quick and have basically no recovery. The ENT will remove the tubes from his ears and the ophtamologist will drain his tearducts and put in stents (which are not visible) to widen them. But then the ENT will also perform a subtotal tonsillectomy, which means he will be removing most of Y's tonsils. It is a relatively new procedure which has a shorter recovery time than a typical tonsillectomy. He will have a sore throat for 3 days and will be restricted to soft foods, and is supposed to feel back to normal within 10 days or so.
I know that these procedures are necessary and will hopefully help Y breathe easier and sleep better at night, but it is still scary. And because I go to most doctor's appointments with Y, I always am the bad guy (gal?) holding him down while the doctor does whatever he needs to do- check his ears, take blood, etc. Y isn't that verbal but if he could, I am sure he would say, "Why are you letting them do this to me??" Yesterday, when the doctor was trying to remove wax from Y's tiny ear canals so he could actually see something, Y jumped off my lap and pointed to me saying "Mommy's turn." I was thinking that if I COULD somehow have the surgery instead of him, I would. Alas I can't which leads us back to May 6. Say a little prayer for us- now and/or next Thursday.

Pregnancy and giving

'Biggest Loser' trainer Jillian Michaels has worked hard for her fit figure and she won't ruin her body for anything -- not even a baby. Michaels tells Women's Health (via Huffington Post) in a new interview: "I'm going to adopt. I can't handle doing that to my body. Also, when you rescue something, it's like rescuing a part of yourself."
The previous paragraph is from a gossip website called popeater. This statement was made a few days ago and has been circulating the web, making people think, including me.
I have been thinking that having children is all about self-less giving, and that giving starts before a child is even born, during a woman's pregnancy.
Being pregnant is really the ultimate preparation for a lifetime of giving that parenting involves. A woman has to physically share her body with her unborn child- sharing oxygen, nutrition and letting the baby take up precious space. She will have aches and pains connected to her weight gain, possible nauseau and fatigue, and many other accompanying effects.
Once the child is born the giving really begins- feeding, diapering, bathing, being up at night. A lot of the giving is physical at first but there is also the emotional- giving love, attention and time. As the children grow, the emotional needs become stronger. The need for affirmation, affection, respect, etc.
We give of ourselves more than we can ever imagine and then we give more. And even though we do get exhausted and burned out at times, we have no regrets and would do it all over again if we could. We feel that it is worth it. We want to give. And as a result of all that giving we become better people, because we are less self-absorbed and learn to take the needs of others into consideration.
Which is why I think that Michaels' statement is a sad testament to the increasing self-involvement of people. If she is not willing to give up her figure and fitness regimen for nine months, is she ready to have a child and truly give on so many different levels.
Obviously, that is not for me to judge. But it is a good question for pregnant woman and women with children to ponder: Do we know what is required of us as parents and are we willing to look beyond ourselves to do it? Comments, please!!

The world's best mom

I'm not sure why I think this is really funny, but it just is. A friend shared it with me, so I thought I would pass it on.
PS: the reason this looks a little funky is because it was an impromptu picture taken with my friend's iphone. Gotta love technology

Lamaze, here I come

I officially registered for the Lamaze childbirth educator course I will be taking in May. It's three full days from 8 to 5. My older two will be in school most of the time, but I have yet to figure out what to do with Baby M. I also cannot imagine sitting for so long. It's been a while since I have been in school. The truth is, this will be a very interactive and it is unlikely that I will be just sitting and listening most of the time. There will be peer teaching and other group activities.
I am very excited for this opportunity. I think it will add another layer of experise to working with my doula clients, as well as a new service I can offer potential clients. It is also an opportunity to edcuate pregnant women and their partners, to help give them the information they need to make the choices that are right for them.
The amount of material is a bit overwhelming. The Official Lamaze Study Guide is about 700 pages or something crazy like that. I have a lot to learn. That's a good thing though. Make sure my brain gets used every once in a while.

Marriage is good for your health

That's what the NY Times claims anyway. The article quotes several studies that show that people in happy marriages have lower rates of heart disease, heal faster and are generally healthier. They compared married people to people who were single and divorced in their studies. The key is obviously not just to be married but to be happily married.
I find this fascinating because it reinforces yet again what we intuitively know and is now slowly being proven- how strong the mind-body connection is and its effects in many realms, particularly relationships. Being in a healthy relationship will affect your physical well being. So will your level of contentment at work and many other aspects of your life.
Similarly, in childbirth (admit it- you knew I was going to go there..) our state of mind is very important. If a woman feel confident in her ability to birth, supported by her partner and doula and generally calm, it will affect the physical aspect of her labor. Her body will respond positively to the positive messages her brain is sending. Makes sense, no? That's my brilliant thought for the day. Check out the article- it's interesting and worth a read.

More on Birth

One of my favorite Jewish blogs- Jewish Mom had a post about birth a few days ago. In it, the author, Chana Weisberg, discusses her previous attitude towards birth, which is one of fear and pain. She knows from experience, having had 5 children herself. She describes reading Ina May Gaskin's book Spiritual Midwifery and how it changed her perspective, and allowed her to think about birth as positive and empowering. She says:
"In Ina May’s eyes, birth can be glorious. Birth can be as natural as walking down the street or singing a song. Birth can take a regular woman and make her into a hero. Birth isn’t even so painful, Ina May explains, if experienced with supportive midwives in a loving and positive environment. In fact, under the right conditions and if approached with a positive, fear-free mindset, birth can be a joyful, playful, and even ecstatic experience."
The message in Ina May's book spoke to Chana and she invited others to share their thoughts.
There were many interesting comments, but since this is my blog, I'll just share mine :)
As a doula I'd like to comment. I agree with all the other posters that birth is a very individual experience and that everyone needs to make their own choices. There is no one way that is right for everybody. However, what is universal is the need for a woman to let go of all her fears of pregnancy and childbirth etc. The message we get that birth is painful, something we need to “endure”, etc. is very deeply rooted in most of us. When we are tense, we stop breathing and clench all our muscles. We are essentially fighting the natural process of labor of opening up.If we could find a way to be calmer- with the help of a doula or other support person, breathing, relaxation CDs or whatever works for you- it would allow our bodies to relax and allow the process of childbirth to unfold. Things would go much smoother and we could finally see that our bodies were indeed created for this. Chodesh tov to everyone!
What are your thoughts on birth? Feel free to share here or check the original posting at http://www.jewishmoms.wordpress.com/