There is this big build-up to Yom Kippur and in some form, on Yom Kippur we try to be at our best. We fast, we are patient with our children, we try to pray with true concentration and fervor.
And the question is always, what comes after. It's not realistic to sustain it at that level, but can we take some of it with us into the new year.
Today I had a disappointing day. I had had a pretty good fast for most of Yom Kippur, thanks to a great babysitter and a wonderful nap. But then I started feeling unwell for the last hour and a half before the fast ended and spent post Yom Kippur in bed, drinking a lot and resting.
The kids have been waking up very early recently, so I was not entirely surprised to hear Y up around 5 30. But I wasn't jumping out of bed eagerly either. My husband and I both attempted to get him back to bed but by 6 am, M had joined the party as well. I handed them the iPad and stayed in bed for another hour, but still had half an ear out to make sure they were not up to trouble. When I finally got up, I was cranky, which was not helped by the fact that M was cranky and tired as well. That meant a lot of crying on his part and a lot of irritation on mine.
This spiraled into a morning of sub-prime parenting, involving getting 3 children to Central park for Y's soccer league, chasing Y around a huge soccer field to make sure he stayed with the group and then running uphill (at 33 weeks pregnant) after M who took off running and didn't look like he was stopping anytime soon.
Needless to say, I was not the paragon of patience and while it may be understandable, it was also disappointing to start our "new slate" this way. The rest of the day got better although I still found myself snapping at the kids at different points.
I know I did not change dramatically in 24 hours but it's depressing to feel like it's just "same old". In truth, the hard work starts now...you don't just magically become more patient. You need to work on it. I guess there is always tomorrow.